With distance sometimes you forget why you love him and then he’ll walk thru the front door, smile and say hi & you’re like “oh yeah that’s why I love you”

i’ve always been told to enjoy my youth to have fun to not settle down so soon to not worry about things i had the rest of my life to worry about. more specifically i’ve always been told to wait as long as possible to find someone to love. to live freely first. but, idk. i feel like in my life im meant to find love as soon as possible. like thats my purpose. and i can go travel, explore, with the one i love.

i’ve never been one to go out to parties, hook up with 50 guys, get belligerently drunk every weekend like the “normal” highschool lifestyle i guess. i feel like i grew out of that already without ever having experienced it. i dont need to get it out of my system because i guess it was never in there to begin with. 

i dont want slutty college years. but i do want to enjoy life, and when love comes then i’ll take it no matter how young i am. 

truth be told I don’t know how to love someone because to love means to compromise it means 

you should be looking out for them and 

it means you should let them into your heart and 

to let them love you in return

but what i dont know

is how i’m expected to do that when all i know how to do is 

depend on me

trust only me

look out for me

and because sometimes i think it’s not fair if eventually i end up

leaving you

pushing you away

fucking you over

but i know i do love you

writers know when they love someone

every time i take a pen to paper i end up with pages upon pages of your charm

i know i love you because

i only wish to write of you

and it tugs on my heartstrings